Earlier this year history was made when Julie Burchill and Camille Paglia engaged in the first recorded fax war. This is the complete, unexpurgated transcript of what the press dubbed "The Battle Of the Bitches"
On 9 February 1993 our Cultural Studies Editor Matt ffychte faxed Camille Paglia asking her to contribute to his pages, offering her a signed copy of Julie Burchills new novel "No Exit" in addition to her usual fee. Within minutes she phoned him demanding to know where he'd got her "private" fax no. Shortly afterwards he recieved the following fax:
9 Feb 93
Dear Mr ffychte,
I am responding to your inquiry about a possible letter or article from me
for the Modern Review. I am offered a signed copy of a novel by Julie
Burchill as an inducement.
One would have thought that had Julie Burchill been interested in securing
my services to contribute to the Modern Review or to defend it against the
charge of 'anti-intellectualism', she would have taken more care not to
write such a malicious, distorted, error-filled, and yes, anti-intellectual
review of my book. I value honesty, accuracy, and fair-dealing, all of
which were in short supply in that article.
In view of these circumstances, I regret to say that I must decline your
offer. It is certainly true that both Julie Burchill (who is completely
unknown in America) and The Modern Review have lost a potentially strong
ally in me. Unfortunately, one reaps what one sows.
Yours truly
Camille Paglia
Philadelphia College of Art and Design
MR Editor Toby Young faxed her back - via her agent - inviting her to review "No Exit" in the MR. A few days later the following fax arrived:
Dear Mr Young
I have recieved your letter of Feb 14.
I'm afraid that after your unfortunate opening gambit in your last letter
which offered me a "signed copy" of a novel by Julie Burchill, you have
given me even deeper offense by suggesting that I should review her novel
and "rip her to shreds."
I find it highly objectionable, and personally insulting to me as a
scholar, that you would think I would be interested in exacting this kind
of "tit-for tat" petty revenge.
You are full of fulsome praise for me as a writer, but I have now recieved
two letters from TMR that treat me as a hack rather than an intellectual.
Apropos of your request to write for you: I'm afraid your magazine, even by
your own admission, is too deeply associated in the public eye with Julie
Burchill. That you automatically offered me a copy of her novel shows that
the problem is an internal as well as an external one.
Because of Burchill's coarse and dishonest review of my book in The
Spectator, I'm sorry to say that I cannot add the weight of my name an my
work to an enterprise that would seem to reflect positively on her. I would
have been happy to have allied with her before, but her own behaviour has
made that impossible. I no longer take her seriously as a thinker or as a
personality.
If Julie Burchill is now a millstone around your necks, it is your task,
not mine to get rid of it.
Yours truly
Camille Paglia
Toby Young then faxed Paglia asking if he could reprint her first fax in the next issue. Because time was short, he did not bother to go via her literary agent. Within minutes she called him, accusing him of "invading her privacy". When he refused to apologise, she called him a "pig fucking cunt". A week later The Modern Review recieved a copy of letter which Paglia had sent to the Sunday Times *DB's note:I won't bother to reproduce it here; suffice to say it advises of the change of her fax and phone nos and offers a distinctly light-handed reproof of TMR's tactics to date*
On 18 March, The Modern Review recieved a copy of a fax Paglia had sent her English publishers, alerting them to a diary story in the Telegraph about her previous faxes. "I'm sure it will stir up the malicious London literary world and get Burchill into high dudgeon" Paglia wrote,"I'm afraid she has cast down the gauntlet and may regret it.")
20 Mar 93
Dear Professor Paglia
It has come to my notice that you believe you and I are currently engaged in
a feud; I quote, "the Burchill vs Paglia pugilistics are sure to be an
entertaining,long running drama."
Believe me, a feud, like a love affair, takes two. As you have pointed out,
I am unknown in your great country; you on the other hand are an
unimpeachable celebrity. Your career is far hotter than mine. But I don't
have the time or energy to participate in such trite theatrics;how can you?
I'm surprised you were so upset by my Spectator review. How you of all
people can complain of my "malice" is a complete mystery to me. Now you
know how Naomi Wolf and Susan Faludi must feel every time you spew up your
speil to a waiting world. I'm here to tell you that you can't come on like
a street tough and then have an attack of the Victorian vapours when faced
with a taste of your own style.
I know ethnicity means a lot to you. You've got a wop name, so you think
you're Robert De Niro. These little girls, Jewish and middle class and
whatever, are too nice, too well bred to fight back. I'm not. Don't believe
what you read about the English; our working class, from where I'm proud to
come, is the toughest in the world. I'm not nice. I'm not as loud as you,
but if push comes to shove I'm nastier. I'm ten years younger, two stone
heavier, and I haven't had my nuts taken off by academia.
Are you SO insecure that you can't get one critical review without throwing
a temper tantrum? What a fucking GIRL you are! Perhaps it's because you got
famous so late. One day you'll learn it comes with the territory.
Julie Burchill
PS I see you are planning "to sustain interest media interest by
nip-and-tuck mini raids on the British media". To show that there are no
hard feelings, and to help your rather touching pursuit of publicity along,
I will be happy to tell all my friends in the British media of your
fascinating game plan.
22 March 93
Julie Burchill,
I have recieved your extraordinarily clumsy and ill written letter. You and
your coterie seem to have the mental age of undergraduates, with whom I am
certainly used to dealing. What emply bluster and tired cliches! If you
were once witty, I'm afraid you're in a bit of a decline.
I have no idea who you are. I was simply told, twice in the past year, by
people who have lived in England that there is this person named Julie
Burchill who as a close parallel to me in sensibility and prose style.
Naturally I assumed this would be someone I would at some point ally with.
Your review of my book was not particularly negative, compared to other
reivews I have recieved, most of which tend to be highly, even hysterically
negative and which I am well known to relish. But if you are as smart as
you think you are, you would have realized that your reputation was on the
line in reviewing me, and you would not have written such a sloppy,
distorted article. It did you more harm than it did me. Your weaknesses and
limtations as a thinker and writer were very much on view in it. I don't
think you fully realise the ammuntion you have given your enemies in Great
Britian.
As the years pass, it will become clearer and clearer to everyone, perhaps
even to you, that this was a pivotal moment in your life. You had an
opportunity to move forward and to grow by making an important alliance.But
instead you chose to dig in your heels, clamp down, and sulk at the new
girl invading your turf. You have behaved childishly.
I could have helped you far more than you could help me. I am read and
translated around the world from Japan to South America, and the basis of
my fame is not just journalism but a scholarly book on the history of
culture. You are a very local commodity, completely unknown outside of
England, and you have produced nothing of global interest. It is you who
began this fight, and it is you who will pay the price for it.The more
vicious you are in print, the stupider you will look.
Your review, as I said to the Daily Telegraph when it called, was not about
my book but about yourself. It contains a shadowy, tragic - or should I say
pathetic - history of your life, your grim obsessiveness about your body
image and what were pretty clearly some early sexual encounters with men,
where your credulity or failures of judgement got you into situations that
left permanent marks on you. As a teacher I can't help but feel sorry for
you.
This time you've gotten in over your head, but you don't realise it yet. I
have already gathered from my contacts in the London media (and even from
the Modern Review itself!) that many people are tired of your bullying and
pretensions. I have no intention of publicly attacking you (except where I
am specifically asked to by reporters), since I don't view you as that
important in the world scheme. But there are many ways I can help others
expose you. Your coarse and unskilled letter is yet another way you have
wounded yourself, and I will make sure it is widely seen.
Camille Paglia
22 March 93
Dear Professor Paglia,
Yes, please feel free to show my letter to whoever you like. I'm pleased
with it and I'm certainly going to pass around the fax someone at your
English publisher gave me, in which you outline your pathetic plan to get
publicity in my country by inventing a feud with me, the nation's
sweetheart.
I don't dislike you. I think you're rather sweet. As Madonna said about
when asked about your obsession with her, "I think it's very amusing."
It's great to see an academic cube like yourself get with it. I'm very glad
you're big in Japan. But the day I need your "help" or "alliance", I'll
give up and go into academia.
Now that really is a fate worse than death.
Julie Burchill
PS Your Diana program was crap, and none of the TV reviewers knew who you
were AND I was asked to do it first. I was glad to pass some work your way,
and I'm sure I'll have the chance again.
23 Mar 93
Julie Burchill,
I have recieved your latest message of March 22 via my agent. Believe me,
it gives me no pleasure to see a person of your standing debase herself in
the way you have done in these shallow, desparate letters. It is as if
you've lost all sense of what wit or argument is. Your fright and panic are
painfully visible. I never dreamed my position was as strong in England as
your shrill letters have demonstrated. If you were as confident in your
stature or reputation, you would not have needed to take that tone with me.
Your spluttering hostility proves I have made serious inroads into
territory you once ruled alone.
It is hard to believe you are a woman in your mid 30s. Your flip, cliched
locutions, braying rhetoric, and meandering incoherences are those of a
colleg or even high school student. I am truly sorry to see yet another
British woman writer self destruct, in the way Germaine Greer did (whose
achievements are far more substantial than yours) did in the Seventies.
You must face the fact that the letters you have written me - in which
television reviewers are cited for their authority! - will give great
pleasure to your enemies, who have waited a very long time to see you
finally trip yourself up.
As far as I can gather, you seem to think your loud, brash style is unique
and impressive - which it may well be in England with its code of decorum.
But in America, everyone, down to the guys on the street corner, talks in
this way, except in the academe. You letters are banal and ludicrous in
American terms because of your lurching inability to use this vernacular in
a fresh way. You think yourself madly clever, but I'm afraid you enfant
terrible personality is a bit tattered. you seem trapped in juvenility,
like a matron who can't forget her salad days at the school sorority.
A friend of mine calls a style like yours -which we have seen a thousand
examples of- "alcoholic prose". There is a heavy, grinding ponderousness
pull on the sinking syntax, a noisy blathering sound, a bitter, maudlin
self pity breaking through the false bravado and cynical posturing. It is
probably a style you learned at home. It is palpably 30 years out of date.
Apparently you are someone who once made a claim for yourself on the basis
of her working class roots. this may have been useful once, but obviously
several decades have passed and the hyocrisy of your present position is
becoming all to clear. Blow your old, dusty proletarian tuba with all your
might, but the unhappy truth is that for many years your life has been one
of coterie privilege and dining clubs, a cozy, smug, chic literary
insiders' set that would turn the stomach of any authentic member of the
working class. you have become a sheltered, pampered sultan of slick, snide
wordplay, without direct experience of life of any kind. As a writer
approaching midlife, you lack vision and deep insight.
As I said before, your encounter with me has been a pivotal moment for you.
Here was your chance to reassess and invigorate your career. What I could
have provided was a way for you to combat the widespread view of you as
flash and superficial. Alas, your letters have done more damage to you than
anything I could do.
Camille Paglia
24 Mar 93
Dear Professor Paglia,
Fuck off you crazy old dyke.
Always,
Julie Burchill
Six weeks later the Modern Review contacted Paglia - via her literary agent - asking if it could reprint her faxes in this issue. Minutes later it recieved the following fax:
3 May 93
Permission is granted to The Modern Review to reprint all letters/faxes I
have written to it and Julie Burchill, on the condition that they be
reproduced, in toto, with no cutting or condensation whatsoever.
Camille Paglia
On the eve of publication, Paglia sent one final fax:
6 May 93
Dear Mr Young
In reference to the letters that, earlier thisweek, I granted permission to
you to reprint:I would like to go on record about a blatant
misrepresentation of the facts made by Julie Burchill in her second letter
to me in March.
Burchill claims abouth the Channel 4 special, "Diana Unclothed", which was
televised 16 March, that she "was asked to do it first." This is
categorically false. Peter Stuart, of the London based independent
production company RapidoTV, approached me last year about the possibility
of basing a television program on my ideas about the Princess of Wales, as
containe din my cover story on her for the New Republic (8 Aug 92). He also
asked for my contribution to a program on Lolita that he was planning. Mr
Stuart came to Philadelphia in January of this year to film me tlaking
about dianan and Lolita for the two programs, which were jointly sponsored
by Waldemar Januszcsak, Editor of The Arts at Channel 4.
It is true that Julie Burchill, along with other writers and commentators,
was asked to contribute remarks to the diana program, but she refused on
the grounds, I am told, that 1) she never does television interviews and 2)
she didn't wish to participate in a "Camille Paglia documentary".
Burchill's wild inflation of this easily corroborated detail is one of the
striking passages in her letters to me. Quite obviously, it was a strategy
born of a sense of weakness rather than strength.
Permission is granted to reproduce this letter in full or (in this case
only) in part.
Yours truly
Camille Paglia
(*DB notes: to those of you unfamiliar with Julie Burchill, she is an English journalist plucked out of working class obscurity at 16 as a "hip young gunslinger" for the New Musical Express. This coincided with the 1976 outbreak of Punk, and she was one of a group of writers who turned this weekly teen pop mag into what was for several years the most interesting and influential culture magazine in Europe. Since then she has become one of the highest paid columnists in Britain, and has been called everything from a Stalinist feminist to a Thatcherite bitch. There are several collections of her journalism available; I can recommend her most recent "Sex And Sensiblity" as a good intro to her love-it-or-shove-it style. She is, I think, 36. She has never left her native Great Britian)
Presented on fa.paglia-l by
danielb@voyager.co.nz.
June'96.